Chocolates Make Me Happy!

Sunday, November 18, 2007

Buona Sera Blog

If people start writing their diaries with "Dear Diary".... What should I say to my blog then? "Dear Blog"?? but that doesn't sound as nice as the former cos the first alphabets ain't the same... ok... so here goes...

Buona Sera Blog... oh gdness... sounds funny too.. haha i can't think of anything else now... ok maybe i'll end with "Byebye Blog".. that's better...

ah well... i'm back at writing again... my second last semester is finally over... and i'm glad it is... i'm officially on holiday now... but seems like i have quite a lot of things to do... like my cp for eg. and studying for jlpt... geez... i'm so gonna fail it...

yes i'm just ranting in the middle of the night... maybe i shall just recap what happened this semester...

In comparison to my last semester, this was definitely less taxing... I must admit I was a living zombie back then... even had some minor depression... nonetheless, this semester ain't that smooth sailing either... some ups and downs no doubt... part and parcel of life ain't it? hmm, this semester was the start of my job search... nothing fruitful... which is kinda demoralizing... what's my worth?? I think only I know better... but what exactly is my passion?? i can't seem to find an answer... I have many interests no doubt... but which of it is really my passion... something that can keep me burning for the rest of my life? Maybe that's why my job search ain't that fruitful either... i despise myself for not knowing exactly where my passion lies... not knowing means unable to strive towards it... if last sem was a living zombie, this sem, i'm a clueless zombie...

besides my job search... studies are so-so... flunked a couple of tests... did not too bad for a couple of them... i'll just have to accept my grades when it comes... i got a bad hunch i'd be disappointed... but i don't know why.... and i even more so have no idea since when i've been this concerned with grades... maybe it's a side effect from my futile job search... or maybe my self-confidence is seeping through my fingers...

and i found out something... whilst i have many friends in school... i really don't know who to call upon when i need help... for eg, when my cp group wanted to conduct an experiment and needed people to come by for 20 mins to help out... i didn't know who to get... and the eventual turn out was good... but none of them were there because of me... sometimes i just feel so helpless... did i keep the walls around me too high and unsurmountable?

life this semester... can be easily summarized... 99.9% of my time was spent on projects, lectures, job search and home... 90% of the people I meet day in day out are my family and project mates... i haven't even had a chance to lunch with hc... haha... i didn't forget abt it nor purposely reject it... worse still, i missed a dinner with lingxin-san (ok that's cos i wasn't feeling well)... and hadn't had a single tennis session with able abel... haha he must be damn disappointed cos i guess i forgotten everything he taught me previously.

ah well... in any case, the semester is over... i've gotta pick myself up and continue my journey... although there's nothing much to look forward to in this vacation (besides the shanghai trip w my family), i'll just keep myself hopeful and await for adventures to unfold... ladeeda...

byebyeblog... (now that sounds better ain't it)

Wednesday, November 07, 2007

1.5 weeks to go... hang on...

geez, i'm shock ppl actually still read my blog... i don't even update that often anymore... just use it as a bitch box... *lol*... and no, i haven't replaced datedate yet... he's still the best bitchbox... haha... except since he's not in singapore for me to bitch to now... so i'm resorting to talking blankly to my blog again...

oh well... i'm not sure if i'm the impatient one or sensitive one this time... but my unhappiness towards someone is accumulating... before i can even "forgive-and-forget"... something infuriating must happen again. *rawr*... and perhaps this friend doesn't even realise... why some close friends are leaving... I'm not the first to go... and I'm feeling compelled to "entertain" this friend any longer... why should I continue to be in this fix? I really don't need this friend that constantly upsets me... i think staying at a distance would be better for all of us...

but my day just brightened up too... 'cos lingxin-san msn me... great to know he's doing well... miss him much... actually, i do miss a lot of people... like, i hope to see bainie right away... except it's past midnight now... *lol*... everyone's moving on in life... i should move on too...

yes... and in 1.5 week's time... i'd be done for the semester... but of cos, this 1.5 week is gonna be torturous... well, still no news from any employers... am i destined to be jobless? ... certainly not... even if that's gonna happen... i shall hire myself... haha...

and before i sign off....

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MY BELOVED PAPA!!!! i shall not announce your age here... i know it's a sensitive topic... hahahahahaha...


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