Chocolates Make Me Happy!

Tuesday, December 28, 2004

Was feeling kinda happy last night. Met up with the sports camp grp again.... Had buffet dinner at Marina South... Food was great... Company was great... haha...

had soccer training before that (that's why i went to meet them late for dinner)... realised that goalkeeping can be quite shagged too... just kept going for the ball... kena a few injuries... one in which i ran up to grab the ball from the striker but she ended up whacking my face with her knee while kicking the ball... ouchie... den i kept kneeling down to scoop up low balls... until now my right knee got quite some abrasion... haiz... the worst of the worst... both my knees are hurting now... me and austen attempted to chase after bus 143 at Harbourfront... we literally sprinted towards the bus stop... but sadly still missed the bus... the worst part was, both my knees hurt v badly... even as i sat down at the bus shelter, my knees were like throbbing from the sprint... even up to now... almost 24hrs later... i can't climb up and down the stairs without pain... decided to skip the tabletennis training today for some rest... damn... if it's just one knee... still not that bad... now BOTH knees... haa... how to walk properly liddat!!!

hmm, killed time reading The Da Vinci Code today... almost halfway through the book... getting quite interesting... but as always, i'm not an avid reader... so when my stomach calls for aid, i will answer it... HAHAHA.. shall go whip up my dinner now...

Sn0wDoVe flew by @ 7:22 PM

Monday, December 27, 2004

it's splashed everywhere in the newspapers today... the worst earthquake hit (8.9 on the richter scale) ever in 40 years... 10000 over people are feared dead... it's a damn serious hit... after reading some articles on it... it's as though i'm watching the disaster films "Twister" or "Volcano"... just that this time... it's real...

don't know if we're really lucky or what, but Singapore, being such close proximity to Indonesia (the epicentre is at Banda Aceh, Northern Sumatra)... is not quite affected by the tremors... a little was felt in the east area, but nth was damaged, nobody hurt (thank goodness)...

Perhaps i watched too many tv shows... but sometimes, i feel that... every event/incident... is predestined... Is there really a creator of earth... as well as a destroyer? In my opinion, every effect comes with a cause... when there's a beginning, there too, will be an ending... People live, people die... ain't it just a vicious cycle? just that the lifespan of earth is probably much longer than an individual man... but when earth was created from a cloud of dust in the galaxy, i just have this gut feeling that one day, earth will return to that cloud of dust.... and when that happens, i guess that's what everyone calls the "Judgement day" or in other words, "Doomsday"...

Not just tv shows, maybe the comic books have an effect on me too... though i no longer sink myself into the fantasy world of comics, there's just this particular series... "X" by Clamp... that i just couldn't forget... it talked about the coming of the judgement day, how 2 groups of people, with opposing causes, are fighting for/against the judgement day... and honestly, i can relate myself to both sides...

Why "for" doomsday you might ask... haven't people actually think about it, earth at it's very beginning, was a pure and humble place... as mankind so-called improved their lives... and technologies advances... have we not done harm to our environment as well? So much about improving our lives, are we not just trying to solve more problems that we more created along the way? Man and his laziness; we find ways to provide us convenience... motor vehicles are built, roads constructed, tunnels are dugged... but as we do so, we are also finding ways to reduce the air pollution (by inventing things like the catalytic converters or solar-powered cars)... It's like... we live to create problems so we can solve them... and what if it takes a far longer time to solve than create? it just leads to the deterioration of earth... And that is the precise situation now... Actually, there need not be a group of people "for" the doomsday... we, mankind, are bringing that day nearer and nearer to us... In other words, we're only courting our own death and destruction of earth... Ain't it true??? Greed, dissatisfaction, selfishness, laziness, lust, cruelty, hatred... all these traits... as long as they exist dominantly, doomsday will arrive earlier than we know.... perhaps it should come sooner, another earthquake... probably 11 on the richter scale (is there 11 in the first place? or max 10? ha i not sure)... wipe out half of earth... and the other half, hmm, probably hit by a comet or something... and at the end of it... earth will return a simple place... maybe life should then start all over again... from the very beginning... sounds like the matrix yeah?? haha, 6 Neo's...

yet, on the other hand, people have feelings... together with all the bad traits, people have good traits too... we hate... but we love too... we love our family and friends, we love animals, we love many other wonderful things in the world... and when people die, we sadden... and what have we been working so hard for?? for our families to live a better life... for better relationships with our friends... are we wrong in doing so? I don't think so... our aim, our goal, our purpose... seems right don't they? So why doomsday?? Why should people be punished and die if it will only cause pain and hurt to their families and friends? even as i don't know the people who suffered this tragedy earthquake... my heart does go out to them... the very simple and basic reason why doomsday should not come, why disasters should not struck... is because people have a heart... to love and care for others... and it will pain us badly if something bad happens to the ppl around us... it's a funny world... some say, people are punished for the sins they committed, perhaps they die, perhaps they become paralysed, perhaps they become very sickly... but who is truly punished? i think it's the innocent people who love and care for these dead or sickly... i feel that if given a choice, i would be more selfish... rather die than lose a loved one...

after blabbering so much... i shall reiterate my point.......
EVERYTHING IS PREDESTINED...
we don't know what the future will bring us... just live every second of our lives fully...

Sn0wDoVe flew by @ 9:00 AM

Saturday, December 25, 2004

MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ONE AND ALL! to me... to my family... to my relatives... and all my beloved friends!!!

received an xmas card from joyce yesterday, so touched... she still remembers me!!! Let me think... it's 9 years of friendship already!!! although we really do seldom communicate nowadays... but yeah, she'll always be my friend... and so coincidental that she's shirley's friend too!!

well, last night was great... went to ah ma's place... lotsa lotsa people were there... had potluck... and i baked christmas hashbrown casserole and brought it over... there were also curry chicken, turkey, smoked ham, salad, beehoon, dessert, smoked beef, pork ribs, kebabs *YUMMY*... saw so many of my cousins... and nephews... they are sooooo adorable... and what was interesting was that, everybody were quite spontaneous in playing the games that rowena and chorloong planned for us!!! fukhai and yongshan imitated how their mom would nag at them (for one of the game forfeits)... da jiu and jiu mu danced cha cha... da yi zhang played arm wrestling... and the little kids were shaking there butts like nobody's business... hahaha... the atmosphere was really warm and joyous... it's really good to have such family gatherings once in a while...

well, and on thurs night... there was the bizad christmas bash... i am not too sure about the final turn out... but i heard we already broke even... so i don't quite know about the profit we made... but anyway, i didn't dance that day... didn't drink a drop of alcohol... but i wasn't sian la... just sat and look around... i even won this santarina look-alike contest... pls... it was... pathetic.. and so throw face!!! met shihui and alexis... yippeee... miss them lots... saw weijie... ok, din actually miss him lots... din even know he's coming... and he blew cigarette smoke into my face while he smoked and talked to me *YIKEZ* *KAPUI*... saw kwunkit's frens... erm, one of them, aaron, was talking to me quite a bit... and tried to get me to the dancefloor like umpteen times... but i totally refused... totally... i guess he could tell i didn't really enjoy clubbing... haaa... and when benny came, i faster talked to him... lol... and i din know jiejie and her friends have such good stamina... they were on the dancefloor for quite some time while i sat at the table and looked after their stuffs (i really had no mood to dance)... but overall, i thought it was a good party... people came, people drank, people sang, people danced, people laughed out loud... yeah.. it was good...

alrighty, back to the present... hmm, wonder what i'll do today... will probably get to drive pa's car... and i guess i'll spend my day reading the da vinci code... jie borrowed it from her friend... hmm... ok... once again...

MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ONE AND ALL!!! MAY ALL YOUR WISHES COME TRUE... (honestly, i don't have a particular wish... ahaha, very self-contented)

Sn0wDoVe flew by @ 10:01 AM

Thursday, December 23, 2004

my rm... is messy again... as usual... should i even bother to clean it up AGAIN? as always?

and my knee... is hurting when i jog again... not as usual... and better not be...
din really train because it... darnz... life is an irony.. when u r training, u dread it... but when u have an injury and everyone else is training, u'd wish u're with them...

finally went queensway today.. bought my knee guards and gloves... still debating whether it's a waste of $.. haiz... in a few more hours' time will be the bizad bash.. how come i'm so not looking forward to it... haiz... reminds me of washing my hair 3 times thoroughly after the event again... and i don't expect something gd if they're gonna get me to dress as santarina... darnz, kaweng and his "brilliant" idea... he's always trying to make use of me and alina... like there's no one else left...

hmm, it's christmas eve eve... but until now, i still have no plans for christmas... not a single thing... dinner with family? i'm not even sure... maybe that's what christmas special tv programmes are for.... for those without programmes on christmas day... and yup, you got it right... that's me... yours truly...

Sn0wDoVe flew by @ 3:10 AM

Tuesday, December 21, 2004

Reasons why not to wake up at 9am...

1. I usually slp at 2... so waking up at 9 wud mean less than 8hrs or slp --> UNHEALTHY
2. When i do have to wake up at 9am, i wanna wash up, but the aunty is always washing the toilet... so paiseh to go in
3. At 9am, the sun has yet to shine on my butt... hohoho
4. There's no shows on tv.
5. No good music on the radio stations
6. Hall breakfast is over...
7. Hall breakfast sux anyway... so who cares... haaaa
8. i won't put any of my lessons at 9am
9. even if i did, i wouldn't go for it...
10. I just wanna slp late... is that a gd enough reason?

Sn0wDoVe flew by @ 11:25 PM

Monday, December 20, 2004

finally it's over!!! highlight of the day... MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.... i PASSED my first driving test!!! woooohooo... three cheers for me... hahahahahaha... but i almost didn't pass though... scored a total of 18 pts... failed to give sufficient warning to pedestrians... haiz... that costed me a lot... but oh well, the tester's conclusion was... "alright la, i still felt quite safe when u drove... just be more careful next time k".... and the next thing i knew, he passed me... and i was like... YES YES YES!!! trying to contain my excitement and elation just to no avail... muahahahahaha....

ok.. that aside... finally came back hall today... although only 4 days away... i felt like i haven't been back to hall for a long time... hahaha damn, what sickness is this?? maybe i've been in hall too long le... haa.... oh and had track training in the evening too... didn't run fast enough... after 1 wk of not training, my fitness level oso dropped le... and the worse part is... during cool down (i dunno why only cool down!!!), my left knee begin to hurt a little... same area as my right knee that hurt last last fri during track cool down jog too!!! damn... now, i got 2 medicated stickers on BOTH knees... great... and when i went to bathe just now... my left knee hurt a little even when i walked!!! *haiz*... i m so weak.... but... well.. I CAN DRIVE... muahahahahahaha

Sn0wDoVe flew by @ 10:03 PM

Saturday, December 18, 2004

just came home from driving.. drove most test routes today... failed a couple routes terribly... why?? hahaha got one i almost buang down a cyclist abt to cross the zebra crossing! lol.. it was dark and i didn't see him coming... heng heng mr lim pull the handbrake and i jammed brake in time... haiyo... i'm a dangerous driver... haaaaaaa... but i still wish to pass my driving test on monday... feeling abit scaredz... but... c'mon girl, get myself some confidence yeah... mr lim say i can make it de... provided i steady steady that day...

yupz... and the best thing that happened today... i met up with michael!!!! it's been eons since i last met him... accompanied him for lunch at coffee club at taka... he showed me all the photos he took in US... life seems good for him... he even got himself a very sweet looking gf!! we talked for about 2+hrs until his gf came to meet him at orchard... it's really fun... to talk to him, catch up on what we've missed... a shame that shihui, alexis and bain couldn't make it today...

yupz... but he's going back to indo tmr... will miss him lots... the next time i'll get to see him, prolly in january... gee, i oso wanna go abroad to study... the places he visited, are all soooooooooooooooooooooooo beautiful... i love it!!! that reminds me, i've gotta apply for sep once i get my results... and that'll be next sunday... hahaha.. SCAREDZ...

Sn0wDoVe flew by @ 9:30 PM

Thursday, December 16, 2004

let me narrate my interesting dream last night:

i was madly in love.... madly in love... with this very beautiful... girl... (damn... am i les? haha...) she had nice long hair... great figure.... and the best part... she was also madly in love with me... she had a rich family background... well-groomed lady... with parents of high status... there was just one problem... we both knew this little secret... that my parents were ex-convicts... although i made a mark in my career, but i never had a wealthy family background... and this secret... her parents nv knew... I even bought a new red sports car for her... gave her nice pretty presents... went over to her house frequently... chat up with her parents... until one day... her parents wanted to meet mine... and both of us just kept giving excuses time and time again to put off that idea... oh, there was this part in the dream that was quite weird, (i can't exactly recall the flow of the dream...) sth happened and she stormed out of her rm accusing me of sth she thought i did... but she was shocked to see me in the living rm, with her siblings, sewing red cushion hearts for her... then she realised i had alibi and couldn't have done (whatever i can't recall)... she felt so guilty of accusing me that she hugged me so tightly and cried... (HAHAHA, so dramatic... but i remembered this part quite well...) oh then my cousin called me to pass her a ribena drink and a bowl of soup (HELL DON'T ASK ME WHY...) and i actually wanted to cycle there (somewhere in the neighbourhood of my girl's place)... until i remembered i actually bought that red sports car, so yah, my gf went with me in the car... and we drove arn... lol... she drove back home first i think... while i was alighted to meet my cousin... and when i walked back to her house alone... i passed by this swimming pool... it's a public pool... right in between 2 parallel hdb flats... there was no fencing around it... as, anybody can just go in for a dip without paying!!! but surprisingly the pool was clean... and there was only another lady around... (ok, no, don't get me wrong, i'm not so easily tempted by that lady... i loved my gf madly, remember?)... but when i got back to her house, wanting to tell her about the new discovery of the swimming pool, i saw her worried face... and she told me that her parents had found out sth fishy about our little secret... i rushed into her parents rm only to see her dad putting down the phone... and he stared back at me with accusing eyes... next thing i knew, i was reprimanded from keeping the identity of my parents but thankfully my gf stood by me... ha, and there was nth her dad can do since she loved me so much... yay.. so it kinda ended off with both of us hugging tightly, smiling and sobbing at the same time (i wonder how, but yes... it did happen somehow)...

THE END... dramatic dream hor?? hahahaha... there are a couple more incidents that happened just that i dunno how to fit in (cos u know, dreams don't always flow that well.. strange things happened, u knew u dreamt abt it, but u don't know where to fit it in when u become conscious again) yupz... moral of the story... it is really great feeling to love and be loved at the same time... lol... but now, all i can say is, i love myself... and i'm loved by myself... bleah...

Sn0wDoVe flew by @ 10:52 AM

Tuesday, December 14, 2004

tempted heart
tired mind
throbbing knee
aching shoulder
hungry stomach
don't belong

enough said...

Sn0wDoVe flew by @ 1:16 AM

Saturday, December 11, 2004

feeling v queer now... my senses are playing tricks on me... how come i feel my whole floor moving up and down... my whole room seems to be swirling around me... everything's in a mess... is it just a wake-up-symptom? hmm, i don't know...

was supposed to watch shutter today... asked arn, but so far only chris didn't mind going... and this morning, he said he'd like to watch a nba match, portland vs utah... haha... it really doesn't matter... the laziness bug has gotten me too... just feel like stoning for the moment... not doing anything... not going anywhere... get myself ready for the next bz week of my hols... in fact, the bz wk starts tmr... there's a bizad mc + foc bbq and informal meeting... and more has yet to come...

and my proposed rm decorations... hahaha.. hongyi... don't give up... but u're almost there (as in on verge of giving up)... just take a look at my hostel rm... yucks... pui.. dirty and messy... just like a sty... just for me... HA... i live the life of a pig... but i like it... i enjoy it... what can u do abt it?? maybe that's why i have no suitors... but it doesn't matter... i've thought about it... i rather live my life the way i like it... than suit other's opinions... yep.. that's the way... i love u hongyi... u're the best pig i've ever seen... way to go yah?

Sn0wDoVe flew by @ 10:36 AM

Friday, December 10, 2004

damn tired... as usual... as again... the week is finally going to be over... but how come i don't look forward to nxt week? where's all my wonderful plans of gg sentosa, swimming, sewing, crafting, movies??? all gone down the drain because of trainings... hall activities!!! boo... i'm not gonna do this ever again... i'm wasting my precious holidays... hard earned holidays... :'( this is so not right... *sighz* what can i do? got myself entangled into this mess! and saw wenhao just now... he still asking me whether i wanna be assistant secretary for sports club... what? madness... i'm already so bz... breathe hongyi breathe... u can do it.. that's the way... yeah... all the way... hmm, finally free tml.. should i go sentosa? hee...

Sn0wDoVe flew by @ 3:41 PM

Wednesday, December 08, 2004

i'm... WEM-ed... ahahaha super duper tired... drained of energy... friggin aching all over... finally went to ntu this morning/afternoon... played softball for the very first time in my life... hahaha... what a joke... played tabletennis, captain's ball and ran for track... yupz... and naturally.. i'm burnt... woke up late today... supposed to meet them at 7.45am at the bizad entrance... ended up waking up at 8.10am... den chiong la... hahaha haven't even packed my bag... forgot to bring sunblock and wear cap... that's why... my face now red red n feeling so tight *boohoohoo*... hmm, the turn out today... ok la i'd say... just some things that happened caught my attention... talk about friendly matches... and sportsmanship.... i'm ASHAMED to be from nus... we have relay runners that throw the batons when they come in last for the race... we have players that played so rough, shoving here and there and just wanna grab the ball over in captain's ball... and to top it off... unbelievable i'd say, the one that i should think was one of the roughest players... actually shouted to our own team mates to be more gentler cos it's only a friendly game... ka pui... tell that to yourself first!!! i'm not sure, but i guess i could feel some tension... especially from this ntu girl who was pushed down (god knows if it was really a pure accident or due to rough play)... i could feel her anger... and i can justify it... even if it was an accident... the guy who pushed her down should at least say sorry... i don't think i heard any sincere apologies though...

yupz to sum it up all... i hope that this WEM generated more friendships than discords... what an unsuccessful event it would be, if it was the latter.... haiz... though on my part, i did make some new friends, from nus and ntu alike... great...

Sn0wDoVe flew by @ 8:35 PM

Tuesday, December 07, 2004

tired... that's the only one word i can describe myself now... whole body muscle aching... ever since gyming on friday, shopping on saturday, badminton on sunday, track training on monday... my body really can't take it anymore... not to say the least, i have soccer training in a couple of hours' time!!! hmm... just had driving this morning, mr lim was unable to book the circuit, so yup, there goes... went to drive some test routes instead... did alright except the turnings, wasn't v smooth... and half-clutch still like shit cos of the new clutch and new sensitivity of his new car... bleah... feel like gg IMM later... after soccer training... wanna get some stuffs... to make.. for xmas... hee... oh... and i just added 12 golden stars to my ceiling.... not as pretty as i thought... but prettier than none... and guess where the "love" star was fatefully put? right above the spinning fan!! haha, i just randomly pasted it and when i lay on my bed and stare at the ceiling... i realise the "love" star is in a damn dangerous position... if it drops, that's it... *whack* *bamm* and it'll prolly get torn by the spinning fan... haaa.... quite true ain't it... love's a fragile thing... lol... so much induction from there... alright... getting tired... shall go slp before i wake up to deal with my oh-so-smelly-laundry... hahaha

Sn0wDoVe flew by @ 10:02 AM

Sunday, December 05, 2004

played badminton in the morning with my cousins gang.. hehe.. so fun... den i altered my skirt in the afternoon.. met up with kel to pass her the dress... den on my way to town, i met ming gui n cheong chye at kovan... hmm, came to a conclusion that many kent ridgeans stay in hougang... yupz, den met normy in town... and we went to find janice at work... haha... she's selling some kinda mag... but the pay is damn gd... :'( why i always no such lobang one... haiz... din noe watta do in town.. and normy disliked the crowd... soooooo... we went to jurong pt instead... bleah..bad choice... the crowd there was just as bad... had swensens for dinner.. treated him to a super fudge malt... haha... but he was damn nice.. gave me an xmas present... was a 3D art deco of mickey and minnie mouse that he did himself... cool... the last time he gave me a 1000 piece beauty n the beast jigsaw puzzle for my 19th bday... felt kinda bad cos i haven't bought anything for him yet... i really ought to get him sth nice for xmas this year... and i really enjoyed his company today... although i think he felt otherwise cos he was telling all abt the great fun he had when he's with his band of bros... haiz... maybe it's just me....

yeah... and yet again... he had to pop up the same ole qns... what is it with everybody? why is it that everyone thinks that uni life = dating??? what about studying??? LOL... so what if i have no dates, no bfs, no one being interested in me??? how come they say until i v pathetic... dunno what old spinster crap... i didn't think that i am pathetic leh... or am i?? geez... went shopping with bain and shihui yesterday... dear sh has like on ave. 8 ppl wooing her? and bain has at least 5... although she mentioned only 1 can make it de... hahaha... what's wrong.. tell me... what's wrong with having none... i shan't do self-pitying... that's not the way... hmm!

i try to convince myself it doesn't matter... but i guess... it does... a little... somehow... this is what i call peer influence... but i'll not let it get in my way... of cos... oh and yes... i so far still kinda decided, i'm not gonna continue staying next year le... after 1 sem... i still feel something is lacking... sth that makes me wanna stay on is lacking... yeah...

Sn0wDoVe flew by @ 11:20 PM

Friday, December 03, 2004

ahh...... my watch finally succumb to the adversity of nature... it has served me well for the past 6 years... 24/7 literally... i almost never took off my black beloved casio illuminator watch even now that it showed no numbers, it's still on my wrist... hahaha... and the bothering question is... should i replace its battery (and continue wearing it for the next 6 yrs)? or buy a new watch? *sighz*... i have a feeling i'll replace it's batt... lol... my hurried-sickness tells me i can't live without a watch...

hmm, ok, yday din go sentosa in the end... was raining.. so me charlie n yq decided to go watch shutters at gv marina... we rushed there in time but left first row seats... boo.. so nv watch... in the end went arn walking and talking kok... oh and i realised, secret recipe's cheesecake is GD... superb.. it's different... cheesier but u wun get sick of it as easy as coffeebean's kinda cheesecake... YUM...

had mac bfast just now... later supposed to hit the gym... dunno will come true anot.. HAHAHAHA... i'm a lazy fat ass... i need motivation... but.. but... no motivation leh.... i'll just become a bigger piece of lard... :'( boohoohoo...

watta do after gym? and tonight? hmm!

Sn0wDoVe flew by @ 9:24 AM

Wednesday, December 01, 2004

i realised i haven't mention... YES, that my exams are finally over!!!ha...

but honestly, i don't feel that much of an excitement... truly believe that it is 'cos i didn't had the exam mood to begin with... looking back on what i've done during the exams period... gosh... its really quite slack... well, exams really don't matter so much to me... i have more important crisis to attend to... and i almost sank into a period of depression... really losing my aim in life (and no, i'm not suicidal)... i concluded... i'm really a timid person... buggies is one thing... but... more of like... facing reality... facing the fact that i can only grow older (and not younger)... and that i have to assume more responsibilities which i still feel i'm not capable of yet... i have to be more decisive (which i'm not really there yet)... more assertive... more risk-taking... to be bolder... and most importantly... i think i really must learn how to take hardships...

y'know, that was one of the reasons why i felt so happy after mastering how to use the washing machine in kr... i nv used to wash clothes, nv really knew how to take care of myself... but when i moved into hall, begin to do more of such chores... became more independent which i really wanted... but all these are still quite minute... the bigger picture... my future... my career... sometimes when i picture myself when i'm older... and at work... and how stress it can be... how huge a pile of workload i'd have... i get intimidated... i get scared... i start worrying... and i start wanting to stay young and not grow older...

I have big dreams... big goals... i am ambitious... i strive to succeed... but on the other hand, i'm apprehensive of pursuing them, i fear hardships... now i'm stuck in this crisis and god knows how long it'll last... when will i finally break outta my shell and say YES, HONGYI YOU CAN DO IT! fear no obstacles... and be my envisioned-self finally!!!???

when... oh when will i ever get the courage to be myself? *sighs*... i need motivation and support!!! i cannot afford to lose myself.... else, what meaning is there in life???

Sn0wDoVe flew by @ 3:07 AM